A Study in Extreme's
by Fulcon
Summary: A study in the possibilities of the magic system that is provided in Alagaesia...and how to take them to their very extreme. This fic also manages to be one heck of a Self Insert Parody.


It was an average day in Alagaesia. From the darkened halls of Urubaen to the hallowed halls of Farthen Fur, it was an average day today.

No one had anything special planned that day. The Varden were sitting there, along side the Dwarves, going around their daily routine. No one had any appointments to fill, no battles to fight, really, just a time to sit back and relax.

The Urgals, as unlikely as it is, were fighting no battles…at least none of the lethal kind…they were wrestling, of course, but nothing particularly exciting.

Even the Evil King, Galbatorix, had nothing important to do…just as it was, again, all over the continent.

It was also this day that is fanficcer, yours truly, myself, was bored to tears. It was this day I chose to get involved with the going on's in Alagaesia…and plain screw things over. (Because I just love doing that.)

This day is also over five years prior to the first book in the Inheritance Cycle, 'Eragon'. This is why, ergo, that the most interesting thing going on today was Arya ferrying Saphira's egg away from Farthen Dur.

_Okay_…I thought, shaking myself from my reverie of boring. _Let's see who we can find that seems to hold some 'promise' and give them an idea or two…and see how that changes everything around._

_Let's start with someone from the Varden, shall we…?_ I thought as I materialized in the upper part of Farthen Dur…or rather, my Avatar did. _I did, my Avatar did, __**same dang thing**__._

Well, the only difference between me and my Avatar is that my Avatar is a glowing ball of golden light that's two feet circumference, while my actual looks are completely unknown to you.

_So, hah. Ha, ha. _

Anyway, I materialized in the hole that le sunlight into the Dwarven city below, so my glow was indistinguishable from the sun, and I looked down from the imaginary perch to the city below.

On a whim, really, I stopped time…the lights of the stone city below me stopped twinkling…rather, they held still. I descended down. _Okay, maybe I didn't want everyone freaking out that a spirit just appeared in the middle of the city…really, not that big of a deal…_

As I neared the floor of the city (next to the Star Sapphire, which was displayed prominently in the center for all to see), I took note off all the people who stood frozen in time. Some were stopped mid-stride, running too and fro as they went about their daily business. Others were in the middle of a conversation when I stopped them. I took particular note of a tall human man who was leaning against one of the stone houses that rose from the floor, who was speaking to a heavily armored Dwarf, who held a large axe on his shoulder.

I searched their minds, not fearing shields of any sort, for I would be finished before they realized that I was there (stopping time has serious benefits)…and found nothing of interest. Two soldiers, one was on duty, one was not. Couldn't even use magic.

_Well that was a waste of a precious one millionth of a second…No inspiration from either of them Booorrring…_I thought as I passed them by, idly going through the heads of other people as I floated past. _Let's see if theirs anyone here that has even a _tinge_ of promise, shall we?_

I had just started searching, really. And just the main city, anyway, so I'd be searching for hours…or for a whole freaking second, depending on where you are on the 'time freezing' thing.

So, time went by (or didn't) and I briefly glimpsed everyone's minds, lingering longer than normal for some (generally mages)…but it was all the same in regards to the folk in the plaza. Dwarves, Humans, men, woman…nothing out of anything. Nothing to potentially kill my boredom out here...so I phased into one of the stone houses in the plaza.

In reality, this was my brightest move all day. Inside, was a room, well light by those gem-lantern-thingies that Dwarves and Elves both use…anyway, in the room was a single bed tucked away in a corner…a door way on the right side of the room, and the left had a wooden desk and chair, and sitting _at_ that desk and chair, was a boy.

He seemed about 5'4, had hair that fell to his shoulders that was a very light shade of brown, and was wearing a plain tunic and leggings. _Let's see…thirteen, been practicing magic through the ancient language since he was eight years old, being taught by his Father…his magic reserves are about what you'd expect…And his name is Beriadan. I'll call him Beri. _

'Beri' was hunched over a desk, looking at a book that seemed to describe the biological traits of elves…and had full pictures, too. _And he seems to admire Elves for their speed, strength and beauty. Ooh! Idea! Let's make a titan or something!_

I felt the air around me start moving again as I unfroze time…Beri actually started breathing too. But due to how well lit his room was, he didn't notice me. _At all._

This does not please me. I picked this form for my avatar for the distinct reason of _being noticed_! Hello! Earth to Beri!

After a couple seconds of me hanging here, he still sat there, reading, completely and _annoyingly_ oblivious to the glowing orb of awesome-light behind him. _We need to fix that._

"Beriadan? Beri? Is there anyone home?" I asked him. He jumped as if I had startled him and turned around.

To put this simply, the look on his face when he saw me is a memory I will cherish forever. His mouth fell open, and his eyes widened. They became so wide, in fact that I thought they'd pop out of their sockets. I almost laughed at him.

"Hi, I'm Fulcon. Pleasure to meet you." I decided to be polite and cheerful to throw him off even further.

"Wh-what do you want, spirit?" Beri asked me. His stutter just made it harder not to laugh myself silly. But I controlled myself, and kept on going.

"I wasn't going to say anything, but since you've _asked…_what _I _want here today, is, as a solution to my fathomless _boredom_, to cause happenings here on Alagaesia." I answered, putting as much emphasis on 'boredom' as I possibly could. "Part of this making things happen, I chose to make you more powerful."

This did not bring the emotion to the surface that I wanted it too. Instead of bringing up some happy and squelching the fear, it doubled the fear over, and then re-enforced it. _Where'd this come from…oh. He thinks I'm a spirit…that wants to possess him. Moron._

"Oh, relax. I'm not a spirit (even if I look like one), and even if I was, I find possession detestable. Really." I tried to comfort him.

"Then…how are you going to make me more powerful?" Now he was confused, his face showing that as clearly as any cartoon character would. I also hadn't entirely reassured him that I'm not a spirit out to possess him. _Okay, fine. If you want to think that, go ahead._

"I am going to explain a couple things about magic and arithmetic to you, and how to use them effectively." I explained.

This seemed to reassure Beri quite soundly, his face brightening up considerably. He was always looking forward to learning more about magic, it seemed.

"Now pay attention. When you use magic, there are a couple of types of spells: One that have a specific function that take energy whenever activated, and one's that are permanent taking no more energy to cast or activate after the initial spell is cast." I stopped for a second to make sure that Beri understood. When I was that he did, I continued. "Wards (those things your Dad told you about yesterday) are a perfect example of the first set of spells…the second, on the other hand, is the one I will focus on. A couple of examples of this is…like, moving a pebble from one place to another, extracting minerals from the ground and binding them into orbs…and maybe thickening your skin to several inches thick. Do you understand?"

"I think so…but how does that make me more powerful?" Beri asked, his face appearing confused. "And what kind of 'more powerful' are we talking about?"

He couldn't see it, but I smiled. "You have a sharp head on your shoulders. That's good; you're going to need it. I'll answer those questions later. May I continue?"

He nodded, and I went on.

"Now, among the _permanent_ spells I described _aarrreee_ (and these are just translations, mind you) 'Strengthen my muscles and organs, toughen my skin, sharpen my senses and harden my bones'." I said this as I conjured a slip of paper with each word written on it, and each translated into the Ancient Language. "Now…where does most of the energy you use to cast your spells come from?"

"It all comes from my body, doesn't it?" He asked as he read my slip of paper.

"Well, yes, unless you use magic stored inside an object, such as a gem." I answered. "(Ask your Dad about that later), anyway, when you say all the things on that paper with magic, you of course, become stronger. When you become stronger, what else happens? You get more energy. What happens when you get more energy?"

"I can cast more spells…" What I was trying to tell him was finally starting to dawn on him. _Awesome_.

"Now for the math I was going to tell you about. Let's assume that in using almost all of your energy on that spell (leaving just enough to live) and you increase your energy reserves by, oh…50%...let's get a visual aid to help you with this." I said as I conjured a single copper coin that floated in the air in front of Beri's head. Then I summoned a _half _of a copper coin to represent a 50% increase. Then I increased that by 50%, then again…and again…and again. Eventually I started using silver coins to represent the continued increase when I started running out of room. "Are you getting what I'm trying to tell you?"

I made the coins disappear and I saw that he was nodding.

"Good…a warning first. A couple actually. One; do not forget to do any part of that spell. _Any_. If you neglect your bones, you could break them every time you tried to move a strengthened muscle. If you neglect your muscles, eventually your bones will become too heavy to move, and your energy reserves will not go up. Neglect your senses, and you may not be able to feel anything under your super tough skin. Am I understood?" I asked him. A couple seconds passed before Beri started nodding slowly. "The third warning is that…eventually, you will become so strong, you will eventually have to cast protection spells on everything…even the ground you walk on, lest you split it in two. Also, casting this spell may be _very _uncomfortable for you."

"Good…that sums up everything I want to tell you…also, use the 'gem-thing' I told you about for better control over the spell. You don't want to accidentally want to kill yourself casting the spell, do you?" When Beri shook his head 'no', I tossed him a gem (a clear cut diamond) I had been keeping to him. (Hey, I couldn't bring it to real-life, so I had to use it somewhere). "Also, don't tell anyone about that piece of paper, alright? Okay."

I turned invisible at that moment, to watch and see if my investment paid off and wasn't wasted.

After getting over the initial shock of seeing me disappear (which took a couple of seconds), he stood up, tucked the diamond into the pocket in his leggings and left the room in a brisk pace. I followed him out, and I saw that outside Beri's room was the sitting room. A pair of chairs with cloth padding sat in this room, and in one of them, sat Beriadan's father, whose name I had not bothered to learn. "Dad?"

"What is it, son?" The father, a small man with a thick mat of brown hair on his head, and who was wearing robes that identified him as a member of the 'Du Vranger Gata' AKA: The Wandering Path. (AKA: The Varden's resident magic guild).

"Can…y-you teach me how to put energy into another object, like a-a gem?" Beri asked.

_Huh, so he stutters a lot. I hope what I've taught him gets rid of that…_I thought as I continued watching.

"Yes…how did you know we could do that? It's not common knowledge for someone so young and new to the magic arts…" His father asked, his eyebrow raising.

"I-I heard a couple of people discussing it earlier today…" Beri lied so smoothly.

"Do you have a gem which I could show you?" His father asked, standing up. _Smart Dad…_

"Do y-you think…maybe we could use t-the Star Sapphire? C-could we?"

I was satisfied at that point, and I left the house hold. Now I was left with another conundrum…or rather, I was left with the _same_ conundrum _again_: I was bored out of my mind. _Hey, you know what I should do? I should go examine the Urgals…maybe theirs someone there I could…'inspire'._

And I twinked out of existence. _Because I'm cool like that._

When I reappeared, I was in the center of a village. The village was located in a large crater, which was very hard to get in if you don't use the entrance that was guarded by _huge_ Kull. The village itself was made mostly out of tents…be they small enough to barely hold one person, or large enough to hold a huge freaking mansion, it was the same. Tents as far as the eye can see. _Wow…I like it._

Time was frozen again (by yours truly) because I didn't want to cause an uproar and ruin my search. And because freezing times a cool thing to do. Actually, mostly because of the second.

So my search began…and a couple of seconds into the search, I realized that I would get _nothing_ from the male Urgals…the 'Rams'. They all thought along the lines of 'kill the enemy'. _Very boring. Really._

So I started looking amongst the women…a little bit smarter than the men, but not by much… _This is getting me no where! No on, here, in Garzhvog's tribe_, _is giving me ideas. No one! I-hello! What's this? Sweet Miss! You've given me an ideaaa…!_

The 'Sweet Miss' I'm referring to right now is Maghnara, an exceptionally good looking Urgal girl (come to think of it…all the woman didn't look half bad…must be the men who are ugly farts) with sharp, black horns coming from her forehead…she was currently heading home from the market with a large bundle of vegetables. _Let's take a closer look…fifteen years of age, rather adept at entering minds…her Ram just died (so sad)…perfect!_

So, when she entered her tent, a medium sized one, it appeared in comparison, (doing this through time speed up thing that I can do) and disappeared inside. I followed, and made myself visible upon doing so.

She, unlike Beriadan, noticed my glow instantly and turned around like a little whirlwind. Her face mirrored Beri's upon seeing me. Really funny.

"I'm Fulcon, pleasure to meet you, by any measure." I'm not sure, but I think I accidentally made myself glow brighter. Anyway… "Your Ram was killed in battle recently…right?"

She was either unsure of what to say, of she was in shock, but she nodded.

"Well, as it turns out, I want to help you… if not console you on your loss, then to further your magical training." I told her in a mock-announcer voice.

"Why would a spirit want to help me?" The girl asked after a moment or two of silence.

"_Because I'm bored out of my skull_." I answered in a flat and toneless voice. "Do you want my help or not?"

She just shut up at that point, unsure of what to make of the extremely rude spirit. _I love doing that_… "Now sit down."

She sat down, speechless…as usual. _Good, makes it easier to get everything out at once…no interruptions._

"Now, I want you to touch the mind of the nearest animal, if you please." I instructed her. She closed her eyes. "You got an animal?"

"Yes…a rat that lives close to my tent." She seemed baffled…as if she had no idea that there was a rat that lived so close to her tent.

"What do you notice about it?" I asked, a little eager for this to be done.

"It's an animal…" She said, opening her eyes. "What am I supposed to think?"

"_You_ are supposed to realize that most animals…if not all, have no mental defenses…leaving them rather vulnerable to mental control." I answered. "Imagine forest wolves…bear…rats, poisonous spiders and snakes all under your control. You could rule the world, if you so choose…or just avenge your Ram. Anyway, my time is up now…but think on what you've learned...experiment…but be careful…other people cast there minds around the world…"

I vanished. Why did I leave so early, you ask? I'm getting bored. Really, really bored with creating people to take the world from Galbatorix. Teaching people to exploit loop-holes in the system that should've been exploited a long time ago can only be so-so in funness level for so long. Now I just want to watch the results of my handy work.

And if the Empire's lucky, maybe I'll pay one of their troops a visit…and tell them how to _blatantly contradict the entire system of magic rules this world operates on._

They should be jumping for joy at this point.

Okay…enough. Now to just enjoy myself, and watch chaos and insanity reign.

I did good today.


End file.
